Souvenirs

© CIRCLES by DELAFOI

I’m not mindful and balanced. I’m all or nothing, everything all at once. I’m sad and angry, bitter and resentful, happy-go-lucky while silently grieving, driven by revenge, frustration, and screaming voices - or nothing at all.

I am a human, and my vessel is dirty with scars and memories. I can not, will not, I refuse to, live up to your standards of a peaceful mind. It’s quasi-enlightenment, a damp filter for wannabe monks and fake gurus.

My souvenirs of bad habits, sorrows, and griefs are like bouncing balls, boomerangs, always finding their way back no matter where I throw them. And I still haven’t learned how to catch. I’m not even sure if I want to. A sudden smack in the back of your head is a good reminder that you’re still alive.